enabling

1. Consistently blames self: “If I were a better parent/grandparent/friend, my loved one wouldn’t be doing this.” 2. Changes the environment to accommodate the person with the problem. “Let’s change schools and get our child away from those troublemakers.” 3. Shields their loved one from consequences. Lies, makes excuses for, and creating alibis for a loved … Read more

When you stop enabling your loved one, he or she may go further down the path of destruction. You may inwardly think, “I can’t bear to see my daughter in such pain and danger.” Or, “My son might get killed! And then I would have his death on my hands. I can’t let that happen!” … Read more

When you stop offering the wrong enabling by offering the wrong kind of help, your loved ones may get very angry with you – and for a “good” reason. Now they are beginning to feel the painful consequences of their irresponsible decisions.  Their first reaction is oftentimes to lash out in anger at the “perceived cause” … Read more