When you stop offering the wrong enabling by offering the wrong kind of help, your loved ones may get very angry with you – and for a “good” reason. Now they are beginning to feel the painful consequences of their irresponsible decisions. Their first reaction is oftentimes to lash out in anger at the “perceived cause” of their affliction. It is much easier to blame someone else than to take responsibility and own their actions.
“Just before mortgaging their home, Tracy’s parents were persuaded to stop enabling her. They let her stay in jail for almost a year – feeling the full impact of her irresponsible behavior. Tracy accused them of not loving her.
But while she was in jail, the drugs cleared out of Tracy’s system and she began to think clearly again. She joined a Bible study, became a Christian and entered Teen Challenge when she was released.”
When you make a decision to stop enabling, you must continue to remember the fact that your loved one’s actions are destroying his or her life – and that enabling this to continue is the worst thing you could do. Stand strong and continue to fight for your loved one’s freedom, even if they are too blinded by their addiction to see their own desperate need.
Find support and resources to help you during this time. Seek out friends, support groups, or a supportive church family that can help you stand strong and stay healthy.